Honesty is the Best Policy

Honesty is the Best Policy

My Mother always taught me that honesty is the best policy.  She was right. This is a good policy for everybody and especially for those seeking recovery. I do not believe it is possible to have permanent and complete recovery from addictions (all addictions, all the time) without honesty.  In Reformers Recovery Ministries the motto is Only the Truth makes Free.  This is based on Jesus teaching in John 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.  The truth does indeed make us free.  In order for the truth to have its proper place in our lives several things must happen.

FIRST:  DECEPTION MUST STOP!

There are serveral types and sources of deception.  Without a doubt, the worst type of deception is self-deception.  AW Tozer wrote the following about self-deception:

Of all forms of deception, self-deception is the most deadly, and of all deceived persons the self-deceived are the least likely to discover the fraud.

The reason for this is simple. When a man is deceived by another he is deceived against his will. He is contending against an adversary and is temporarily the victim of the other’s guile. Since he expects his foe to take advantage of him he is watchful and quick to suspect trickery. Under such circumstances it is possible to be deceived sometimes and for a short while, but because the victim is resisting he may break out of the trap and escape before too long.

With the self-deceived it is quite different. He is his own enemy and is working a fraud upon himself. He wants to believe the lie and is psychologically conditioned to do so. He does not resist the deceit but collaborates with it against himself. There is no struggle, because the victim surrenders before the fight begins. He enjoys being deceived.

While I was attending Bible college, I worked as a trailer mechanic at Fruehauf, Inc.  It was physical work.  I started missing a day here, and a day there due to what I proclaimed was sickness.  My foreman called me into his office questioning my illnesses.   I stood firm on my sicknesses proclaiming that each and every time I was unable to work because I was sick.  My foreman told me something that changed my life:  You can lie to me and I may or may not believe you, but when you lie to yourself and start believing it, you are in trouble.  God convicted my heart and now almost 30 years later have not missed work unless it was legitimate.

Are you being completely honest with yourself?  I have heard people say things that are not true hoping it will change the situation or give them permission to do what they want. Sayings like:

I don't have a _______________ problem.  (fill in the blank with any addiction or unwanted behavior)
I can quit ___________________ any time I want.
I will just have one _________________ (etc.)
I cannot quit _________________.
I have _______________ under control.
I have stopped __________________. (when the reality is they have not)

Another form of deception is purposely deceiving others.  Once the lying begins it can get to the point that lying becomes the normal.  One person told me; I really don’t know where to start it’s been so long since I’ve been honest it’s almost easier to lie.

A person lies about where they went and what they had been doing. It’s a way of staking a claim to the right to continue drinking or using drugs. The lies, self deception, and self delusions are created for the purpose of permitting oneself to continue to use. Somehow a person needs it all to make sense.

Being dishonest can easily become the standard of action, or way of life for most alcoholics or addicts. Many deceive themselves and  lie to others. They lie about how much they used, and how often they used.  They hide their feelings and emotions, or became distant from their relationships, perhaps not in all areas, but certainly in terms of their substance use.

Be careful, some people lie without even meaning to lie.  It has become so embedded into their character that they can not distinquish between the reality and the lie. 

For their to be permanent freedom from all addictions (all kinds, all the time), deception must be replaced with truth.

The Bible is clear concerning deception and lying.  Lying and deceiving is wrong, it is a sin. 

The ninth commandment God proclaims:  Exodus 20:16 (KJV) ¹⁶ Thou shalt not bear false witness (lie) against thy neighbour.   Here God plainly condemns lying.  It is wrong to lie to others.  God declares His dislike for lying in Proverbs 12:22 (KJV) ²² Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.   The word abomination means to detest, to find disgusting. 

Why is lying such a big deal to God?  Why does God mention lying as one of the ten (He gave more, these were the main ones) main commandments He gave to Israel?  First of all, let's consider the origin of lying.

John 8:44 (KJV) ⁴⁴ Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

These are scathing words that Jesus used to describe the Devil.  Jesus calls him a liar, and the father of lies.  This was evident in the original sin when the Serpent (the Devil) used lies to entice Eve.

Genesis 2:15-17 (KJV) ¹⁵ And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. ¹⁶ And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: ¹⁷ But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

Please note that God had given only one command to Adam that command was they were not to eat the fruit of only one tree, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. God had given His permission to eat of the fruit of all other trees.

 It is the command of God that the father of lies attacks. 

Genesis 3:1 (KJV) ¹ Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

The tactic used by the Serpent is the same tactic used by the Devil today, deception.  Satan twisted the Word of God to deceive Eve.  If he can get you to believe a lie, he can influence you to disobey God. 
This is why it is vital that deception be stopped.