Anger: Forgiveness

Anger: Forgiveness

Chapter 9

I.         What is Forgiveness?

Mark 11:25 (KJV) ²⁵  And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

To forgive means the one offended cancels the debt, and releases the offender from any obligation to pay back or make restitution.

It is always welcome when the offender asks for forgiveness and offers to make restitution.

HOWEVER, FORGIVENESS IS NOT BASED ON THE ACTIONS OF THE OFFENDER, BUT THE HEART OF THE OFFENDED.

Ill:           Fishing and Forgiveness

The fisherman casts the line, the fish is hooked and its on!  The fish is offended and the fisherman is the offender.  The more the offended fish fights back at the offending fisherman, the more the hook is set and the easier time the fisherman has landing the fish.  However, as any fisherman will tell you, if the fish swims directly toward the fisherman the line will slacken and the hook will release itself.  The fish’s freedom is not gained by pulling but by slacking the line.  Forgiveness is slackening the line!

II.        The Results of not Forgiving?

1.            Your pain is compounded.

The pain you initially felt because of the offense is compounded when we choose not to forgive.

2.            Remaining angry at the offender brings torment to your own soul.

The torment takes shape as residual anger, resentment, and bitterness.  We think if we remain cold and distant from the person we are somehow punishing them for what they have done. We think that getting even with them will make us better. 

Romans 12:17-21 (KJV) ¹⁷  Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. ¹⁸  If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. ¹⁹  Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. ²⁰  Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. ²¹  Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

III.      Forgiveness Precedes Freedom

When you forgive it frees you, but it will not necessarily heal you emotionally.  You may still have emotional wounds and scars from the offense. 

Isaiah 61:1 (KJV) ¹ The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
Psalm 34:18 (KJV) ¹⁸ The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Jesus promises to heal our hearts.  How long will it take?  It depends how deeply you were hurt and how long you harbored unforgiveness in your heart.

IV.       Why should I Forgive?

Why should I let the offender off the hook?  Because in reality it is you who is getting off of the hook.  Are there consequences for the offender?  Is the offender getting away with it?  The answer is NO!

Hebrews 10:31 (KJV) ³¹ It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

V.        Not only should We Forgive, but We should Pray and ask Mercy for the     Offender.

Matthew 5:44 (KJV) ⁴⁴ But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Matthew 6:12-15 (KJV) 12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. 14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

 Here in Matthew 6 your eternal destiny is not affected.  Jesus died and forgave your sin on Calvary’s cross.  However, you will lose the victory and the daily blessing in your walk with God.  God’s working in your life is hindered by your unforgiveness.

VI.       Forgiveness does not mean Forgetting

Hebrews 10:17 (KJV) ¹⁷ And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.

This is not saying God forgets.  It is saying that God will no longer hold our sins against us.  He forgives and treats us as forgiven. God could not forget, because God is omniscient.  He knows all!

The more you are hurt and the longer you have chosen to hang on to unforgiveness, the harder it may be. 

Ill:  Like Climbing a Mountain

The view at the top is worth the climb!

VII.     Forgiveness must be from the Heart.

Matthew 18:35 (KJV) ³⁵ So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

To do this we must face the hurt and hate and ask the Lord to reveal all hurts and pain.  We must then agree with God and proclaim that we forgive the offender.  We must be emotionally honest.

VIII.   We all live with the Consequences of Other People’s Sins

We all live with the consequences of other’s sins.  Our choice is to live with the consequences of other’s sins in the bondage of bitterness and anger or in the freedom of forgiveness.

We are all living with the consequences of Adam’s sin. 

Jesus thru the cross removes the consequences of Adam’s sin and Jesus enables us to forgive removing the consequences of the offender’s sins.

Isaiah 53:4-6 (KJV) ⁴ Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. ⁵ But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. ⁶ All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

IX.       Unforgiveness opens the door to Satan.

Ephesians 4:26-27 (KJV) ²⁶ Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: ²⁷ Neither give place to the devil.
2 Corinthians 2:11 (KJV) ¹¹ Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.

Unforgiveness is a tool the devil uses to take advantage of us.  Unforgiveness is cancer to our soul.

X.        Forgiveness is Commanded

Ephesians 4:32 (KJV) ³² And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.