Honesty is the Best Policy

Honesty is the Best Policy

My Mother always taught me that honesty is the best policy.  She was right. This is a good policy for everybody and especially for those seeking recovery. I do not believe it is possible to have permanent and complete recovery from addictions (all addictions, all the time) without honesty.  In Reformers Recovery Ministries the motto is Only the Truth makes Free.  This is based on Jesus teaching in John 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.  The truth does indeed make us free.  In order for the truth to have its proper place in our lives several things must happen.

FIRST:  DECEPTION MUST STOP!

There are serveral types and sources of deception.  Without a doubt, the worst type of deception is self-deception.  AW Tozer wrote the following about self-deception:

Of all forms of deception, self-deception is the most deadly, and of all deceived persons the self-deceived are the least likely to discover the fraud.

The reason for this is simple. When a man is deceived by another he is deceived against his will. He is contending against an adversary and is temporarily the victim of the other’s guile. Since he expects his foe to take advantage of him he is watchful and quick to suspect trickery. Under such circumstances it is possible to be deceived sometimes and for a short while, but because the victim is resisting he may break out of the trap and escape before too long.

With the self-deceived it is quite different. He is his own enemy and is working a fraud upon himself. He wants to believe the lie and is psychologically conditioned to do so. He does not resist the deceit but collaborates with it against himself. There is no struggle, because the victim surrenders before the fight begins. He enjoys being deceived.

While I was attending Bible college, I worked as a trailer mechanic at Fruehauf, Inc.  It was physical work.  I started missing a day here, and a day there due to what I proclaimed was sickness.  My foreman called me into his office questioning my illnesses.   I stood firm on my sicknesses proclaiming that each and every time I was unable to work because I was sick.  My foreman told me something that changed my life:  You can lie to me and I may or may not believe you, but when you lie to yourself and start believing it, you are in trouble.  God convicted my heart and now almost 30 years later have not missed work unless it was legitimate.

Are you being completely honest with yourself?  I have heard people say things that are not true hoping it will change the situation or give them permission to do what they want. Sayings like:

I don't have a _______________ problem.  (fill in the blank with any addiction or unwanted behavior)
I can quit ___________________ any time I want.
I will just have one _________________ (etc.)
I cannot quit _________________.
I have _______________ under control.
I have stopped __________________. (when the reality is they have not)

Another form of deception is purposely deceiving others.  Once the lying begins it can get to the point that lying becomes the normal.  One person told me; I really don’t know where to start it’s been so long since I’ve been honest it’s almost easier to lie.

A person lies about where they went and what they had been doing. It’s a way of staking a claim to the right to continue drinking or using drugs. The lies, self deception, and self delusions are created for the purpose of permitting oneself to continue to use. Somehow a person needs it all to make sense.

Being dishonest can easily become the standard of action, or way of life for most alcoholics or addicts. Many deceive themselves and  lie to others. They lie about how much they used, and how often they used.  They hide their feelings and emotions, or became distant from their relationships, perhaps not in all areas, but certainly in terms of their substance use.

Be careful, some people lie without even meaning to lie.  It has become so embedded into their character that they can not distinquish between the reality and the lie. 

For their to be permanent freedom from all addictions (all kinds, all the time), deception must be replaced with truth.

The Bible is clear concerning deception and lying.  Lying and deceiving is wrong, it is a sin. 

The ninth commandment God proclaims:  Exodus 20:16 (KJV) ¹⁶ Thou shalt not bear false witness (lie) against thy neighbour.   Here God plainly condemns lying.  It is wrong to lie to others.  God declares His dislike for lying in Proverbs 12:22 (KJV) ²² Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.   The word abomination means to detest, to find disgusting. 

Why is lying such a big deal to God?  Why does God mention lying as one of the ten (He gave more, these were the main ones) main commandments He gave to Israel?  First of all, let's consider the origin of lying.

John 8:44 (KJV) ⁴⁴ Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

These are scathing words that Jesus used to describe the Devil.  Jesus calls him a liar, and the father of lies.  This was evident in the original sin when the Serpent (the Devil) used lies to entice Eve.

Genesis 2:15-17 (KJV) ¹⁵ And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. ¹⁶ And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: ¹⁷ But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

Please note that God had given only one command to Adam that command was they were not to eat the fruit of only one tree, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. God had given His permission to eat of the fruit of all other trees.

 It is the command of God that the father of lies attacks. 

Genesis 3:1 (KJV) ¹ Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

The tactic used by the Serpent is the same tactic used by the Devil today, deception.  Satan twisted the Word of God to deceive Eve.  If he can get you to believe a lie, he can influence you to disobey God. 
This is why it is vital that deception be stopped.

A Way to Escape

The Way of Escape

According to Dr. George Koop, a professor with the Scripps Research Institute, 80% of the addicts and alcoholics that experience detox return to drug or alcohol use within a year.  Discovering why a person chooses to relapse is an area of great concern to all of us. 

One of the identified reasons why a person chooses to relapse is cravings.  Cravings are defined as the intense desire a person still feels for the substance during recovery. Research has shown us that the cravings people experience could be directly related to the long term changes in brain function, due to the drug and alcohol abuse. In essence, the brain has become conditioned to function under the influence of drugs or alcohol and does not function efficiently without it.

What can a person do when the urge to drink or drug or frankly any wrong behavior is strong?  What does God say about it and will these cravings ever go away?

The Bible teaches us in I Corinthians 10:13 several lessons that we can apply to our cravings.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (KJV) ¹³ There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

First, our temptation is not one that is unique to us.  It is common to man.  In other words, the temptation we face is a temptation that others face as well. May I also remind us that it is not God who tempts. 

James 1:13 (KJV) ¹³ Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

The Scripture clearly teaches that God is not the one who is tempting us. From where does our temptation come?

James 1:14 (KJV) ¹⁴ But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

It is our own lust, our own longing and desire for that which God forbids that tempts us. 

Second, you do not have to give into the temptation.  Many times people respond as if it is impossible to say no to the temptation or craving, but this is not true.  God does not allow us to face a temptation that He is unable to deliver us from… God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able.

Third, God will make a way to escape the temptation… will with the temptation also make a way to escape.
Let us be reminded again that God has promised in His Word that He will make a way to escape. 
We know we are going to be tempted.  We know we are going to have a time of craving in our future so let us prepare now as to how we are going to handle the temptation or craving when it comes.

I.             Long Term Readying:

There are changes that must be made in our lives to prevent temptation and to promote the possibility of successfully saying no when tempted.

                A.            Change Your Perspective

It is important that we change the way we think about what we do.  Recovery principle #1 of Reformers Unanimous is If God’s against it, so am I.  True change begins with a change of our thinking.   Proverbs 23:7 (KJV) 7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.  The Reformers Unanimous motto is from John 8:32 Only the truth makes free.  It is imperative if we are going to change, we first change our thinking.  How do you view what you do?  Do you view it the same as God views it? 

                B.            Change Your People

It may also be necessary to change some of the people in our lives.  Recovery principle #6 of RU states: Those who do not love the Lord, will not help us serve the Lord.  All of us are affected by the people with whom we associate.  The Bible states in Proverbs 13:20 He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.  If you look back on your life, you will usually find people that were instrumental in leading you astray.  God in His Word says:  1 Corinthians 15:33 (KJV) ³³ Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. Another way of saying this is bad company corrupts good morals.    It is true that the people we associate with affect the way we live our lives. 

                C.            Change Your Places

It is important that the places we go are beneficial in our recovery.   This is why faithful attendance to a good faith based recovery meeting is important.  This is why all should faithfully attend a Bible preaching and teaching church.  The Bible tells us in Hebrews 10:25 (KJV) ²⁵ Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.  

II.            Short Term Response

It is also important that we plan what we are going to do when the moment of temptation or when the cravings come. 

                1.            Pray, Read your Bible, Pray the Promise

When cravings or temptation comes it is important we turn to the One who has provided a way to escape.  Pray, read your Bible, read I Corinthians 10:13 (text verse), and pray the verse out loud claiming the promise of God.  Remember God has promised a way to escape and that you are able to bear it.

                2.            Call a Spiritual Leader

This is the time to call your spiritual leader.  This is the time, if you are in RU, to call your challenge leader, challenge helper, director, or assistant director.  You need to have these numbers in your cell phone and keep calling until you get someone who will listen, advise, and pray for you.

                3.            Change What You Are Doing

Stop what you are doing or not doing and go do something else.  Remember the old saying, idle hands are the Devil’s workshop. It is important that your time be spent productively.  When a craving comes remember the old adage, this too shall pass.  Get busy doing something!  Exercise, go for a walk, clean your home, go volunteer at the church, but by all means get busy.

                4.            Attend the Next Available Church Service

                5.            Find God’s Provided Way to Escape

III.           Always Remember

Many people want to know if the physical and mental cravings (temptations) will ever end.  The answer is yes.  God’s Word says; James 4:7 (KJV) ⁷ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. The more you say no to temptation the easier it is to say no.    
What is outlined above will produce abstinence in your life.  Abstaining is defined as:  to refrain deliberately and often with an effort of self-denial from an action or practice. Abstaining leads to sobriety.  

However, if you desire total victory it requires transformation.  Only Jesus Christ can truly transform a life.  The Bible says, 2 Corinthians 5:17 (KJV) ¹⁷ Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

God loves you and God desires to have your fellowship, and friendship. God is able to transform your life through your relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ. Remember, we are made in His image. He is willing and able to supply our needs. To read more about God and His desired relationship with you please visit: http://www.reformude.com/first-step.html If you would like to see and hear more visit: http://www.preciousseed.com